When I don't wear my iPod to work in the morning, which by the way is almost never, I usually remember about twenty seconds into the subway part of the commute just why it is that I wear it day in and day out almost without fail. Now that I finally sucked it up and bought the world's greatest headphones (after my 10th pair of Apple ones broke) I have no reason to skip wearing it, unless, like this morning the battery is completely DOA. Today's subway ride was complete with a car-full of elementary school students from the Bronx and here is some of the hilarity that ensued in the seven minutes that I shared a space with them. I also heard something almost as funny once I got on to 42nd Street.
Kid to teacher: Yo Mr. Spignelli, are you a polyglot?
Teacher: Um, I don't think so.
Kid laughing: You don't know what a polyglot is; you haven't seen that commercial for that dictionary; yo that shit is mad tight.
Teacher: I don't have a TV.
Kid in shock: How come you ain't got no TV, it's the greatest invention of this decade.
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Me to kid: Where are you going on your field trip?
Kid: Um I don't know (shouting to teacher) Yo where we goin anyways?
Teacher: I told you when we got on the train.
Kid to friend: Yeah but it's not like I be listening.
Kid to me: We're going somewhere to look at some shit, it's probably old shit.
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Salvation Army volunteer ringing his bell and talking into a microphone:
"For one dollar, the price of your morning coffee and your hamburger for lunch, you could help someone today."
One dollar! One dollar!! Last I checked the only thing you can get in this city for a buck is...um...wait, I can't think of anything; but it damn sure isn't a coffee AND a hamburger.
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