Sprechen sie Englisch?

I got an e-mail yesterday from an old friend (and by old I really mean past and by friend I mean someone I am no longer friends with) and this e-mail literally left me baffled by the entire male species. Sometimes I wonder if we're even speaking the same language, us women and those men; mostly I feel like we're not. This time is one of those times when we most definitely are not. In all fairness to this person, which I don't know why I feel like I have to be fair (but I'm a nice person) it sucks to have a broken heart. I should know. Regardless, a broken heart is not the invitation to start acting like a complete moron and say things that do not have any semblance of how we agreed, sort of, in the end, that we would no longer be friends. This e-mail might as well have said Dear Lamo, I don't listen to anything you say, ever, and am sticking to my convictions so go fuck yourself. Love, the idiot or more specifically the entire male species.

The entire argument which lead to us no longer being friends in the first place all stemmed from a serious serious communication breakdown. Well that's only half true. But I can't really unveil what happened right here on this blog without being overcome by both extreme sadness and then extreme ANGER followed by rage. And nobody wants that. Plus, you never know when my mom will welcome herself into the Internet age and learn how to navigate to my blog. And the last thing on earth I need is for my mom to find out just how it all went down with said idiot; I will never hear the end of it. You don't know my mother!

I can't figure out why women and men can't always seem to speak the language. While most of me thinks that it's because we are wired differently, not wired to understand something we are not, there's a small part of me that thinks "God" is just really mean. I want to live in a world where no means no, and yes means yes, not a world where no secretly means please beg me until I give in, and yes means throw all caution to the wind and ruin everything in one single moment! I want to move there and live happily ever after with the other people who live there and all speak THE SAME LANGUAGE.