The Art of Giving

It came in a small box. I remember being scared to open it not because I didn't know what was inside, but because I did. It was obviously jewelry by the small rectangular box, the first piece he had bought me since we had been together for some 3+ years. I can't however, remember if it was for my Birthday or Valentine's day, as these holidays often blur together or get doubled up in the gifting process. When I opened it, I remember thinking it was the most unique ring I had ever seen: a large square with eight smaller squares, each of a different color representing a stone and in some cases like the turquoise, it is the actual stone. It was beautiful and artsy and unique. It was something I immediately treasured. I treasured the ring and I treasured this man for knowing me well enough to buy it for me. Never in my life (even to date) had I worn something that I received more compliments on than this silver, colorful square ring. Cashiers at the gas station convenience store would tell me they liked it; random people on the subway in NYC would comment, foreigners in Germany would say in plain English how pretty it was. It was my most favorite thing ever, not unlike the man who gave it to me.

From that night forward I wore that ring every single day. I took it off only to shower, sometimes even forgetting to take it off when I slept. That ring has been all around the world with me, missing and then found, cracked and then repaired.

I kept wearing the ring immediately after the break-up. I wore it for probably another few months, three at the most. Then one day, much like the pain, I stopped wearing it and my heart stopped hurting. The ring is synonymous with the pain and struggle I battled during the last few years of that relationship, long before it finally soured like a rotting apple and we parted ways.

Yesterday I wore that ring again for the first time in almost a year. I didn't expect that it would make me sad, and it didn't. I didn't expect that it would make me happy, and it didn't. I didn't expect anything from it. I didn't think about it. I put it on in the morning and went to work the same way I had the previous day, and the day before that. When I got to work and my friend complimented me on it a tiny part of me was still, even after all these years, grateful for that man...