Endless Chances

I might
go back to school in pursuit of an MBA, perhaps another Masters this time in Art Education, I am a perpetual student with an unquenchable thirst for learning, for growing, for discovery, for loans and late nights, for not sleeping, for a silver desk lamp illuminating my future, my ideas spewing out only after the rest of the world has long gone to sleep; quit my job and spend a few months traveling to places hardly visible on the map, places nobody goes to, nobody runs from, to places I only see in my dreams, to places I can sink my toes into, my mind into; I might take off in a car, on a road trip in search of the truth, in search of nature, in search of another moment, of something I've not yet seen, felt or held, of something honest and true, of something better or something pure; tear down the wall to see the other side; I might run another marathon or three, one in Chicago and one abroad just to do it, just to see if I can; I might even decide to venture into a triathlon because running is a gateway drug; I just might give it up, walk away, throw myself into something else, something new; something bigger than myself; I might take a cooking class, go Vegan, learn to speak Spanish, teach myself sign language, hire a maid to do the cleaning, get to sleep before midnight and forget to dream until it's too late.

I might not
get out of bed on a rainy Sunday morning, instead turn off the alarm, roll over, snuggle with my dog and drift to the spaces between reality and the fog of dreams I hardly understand, the cacophony of drops upon the skylight, the fan doing its best to mimic a breeze; I might not save the notes, the flowers, the cards or the wrapping paper but wish I did; I might not always wash the dishes, put away the milk or close the cabinet doors, unplug the iron, put away the hair dryer, hang up my wet towels or listen to my parents; remember to take out the trash, take my medicine or take things seriously when I should or take too seriously the things I should not; be capable of letting it all go or of letting it all in, of washing away the dirt, of accepting things at face value or of seeing the truth when it's so totally different from the only one I've never known...

...but someday I know I will.