The Beat Goes On

Coming back to the city after being away for even just a week is always sort of a weird feeling. On one hand, I'm always so anxious to return for the noise, the hustle, the whenever/whatever I want, I can have, the excitement of it all. New York is home; anywhere else falls short. But on the other hand, there's always a tiny part of me that doesn't want any of that. There's a part of me that longs for the lazy days on the beach, the huge dinners with my family gathered around the table, the mid-afternoon naps on the beach blanket, the simpleness of it all. The quiet. The inner peace.

While I do travel quite a bit, for some reason coming back to the city after the week at the beach is always the hardest. I don't know whether it's because it's like going from one extreme to the other: being surrounded by 18 people at all times in a huge beach house -- to sitting alone in my less-than-huge apartment, or if it's just because it signifies the end of something; the end of summer; the end of another year; the end of paid time off; the end of a tradition.

Unlike when I used to go on this same vacation in college or even high school, returning to NYC after a week away always bestows so many changes. There are usually so many changes it's almost hard to notice them all. It's quickly evident that the city kept on going at record pace. It's just like when I used to cut class back in high school and go "off campus" for lunch. Once I left the parking lot it was always like holy shit, in fact, life is going on while I spend my days sitting in class taking notes. I always remember thinking that it felt so liberating to leave school like that, to get a little preview of what the rest of the world was doing.

It's part of the deal when you agree to live here: do not get attached to anything. A week in NYC is the equivalent of a few months anywhere else. Where as change in my hometown takes a gradual and slow pace, it only takes a day for a restaurant to close here, a week for it to be replaced by something new, different, bigger, faster better, now with more sizzle. It only takes a few days for an entire Avenue's length of scaffolding to come down near my office that has stood there for over three years revealing an entire building that I've never even seen before. And apparently, it only takes a week for lots of people in my office to quit leaving everyone to wonder if it's time to jump ship too.