Charging...

Living in this city depletes my batteries pretty quickly. Between just the general grind, commuting and dealing with everything this city sometimes throws your way, this past week has also been a barrage of emotions, good news and bad, moments where I wasn't sure what to say and moments where I could not put into words how I was feeling. That is a rare thing, for me to be-speechless, but the big moments are sometimes the ones where I try to be cautions with my words. My new little niece has me dumbfounded in so many ways but mostly in the way that I've suddenly taken on a huge love for her and all things baby. I never saw that coming. Never.

But in the midst of going baby crazy, of becoming an aunt and falling in love, there's also been moments of total devastation, the kind that rocks your world to the core. And this kind of rocking has me questioning my beliefs and envying those that have faith in something bigger and more powerful than any of us know. And I wonder, if a niece can change my view on babies and children and love, can this devastation change the way I feel about faith?

And while I'm sure the answers to this question won't come any time soon, it's certainly something that will keep my mind occupied while I'm laying on the beach for the next nine days recharging my badly drained batteries.